


Good Enough

by Saasan



Series: Twitter Thread Fics [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Compliant, Grief of relationship, M/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, Slow Romance, but Allura is alive now bitches, i honestly don't know how to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:51:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23345713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saasan/pseuds/Saasan
Summary: Voltron is called on once again, saving Allura and the universe once and for all, but it comes at the price of the last five years of time.  Uncertain what to do with himself now that he's unretired and unmarried, Shiro finds himself adrift.  One thing he knows for certain: Keith deserves better than what Shiro could give him.
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron), brief Allurance, past shiro/curtis
Series: Twitter Thread Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1679095
Comments: 27
Kudos: 217
Collections: UnrequitedLoveORareThey





	Good Enough

“I’m not good enough for you.”

The first time Shiro said it, he thought Keith was going to hit him. The man had his fists bunched, anger in his jaw, and fire in his eyes. He took one step forward before turning on his heel and walking away.

  
Shiro didn’t see him for the rest of the day.

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


To call losing five years of your life “disorienting” is an extreme understatement, but at least it had happened to all of them. When the dark entities had invaded and Allura had called from the void, the Paladins were able to form Voltron one last and defeat the darkness--saving Allura at the same time. It had sent them back to the moment before her death, and no one knew about it but them. They had all agreed it would be best (and easiest) not to tell anyone what had happened, which was how it came to be that Shiro felt homeless.

Less than a week ago he’d had a husband and the two of them had just rented a new place. Now, that apartment building had yet to be built, and Curtis was currently in a relationship with another man. Shiro knew it ended (obviously), but he also knew it had been a meaningful time of growth for Curtis, so naturally he wasn't going to get in the way of that. But, that left him with the echoing question of: now what? It made him uncomfortable to hang around waiting for a break up of a currently happy couple. It felt gross and invasive and vaguely like stalking, so Shiro opted to take his retirement early and refused the promotion to Admiral.

Iverson hadn’t been happy.

Of course, Iverson hadn’t been happy when Shiro retired the first(?) time, but he berated Shiro for shirking his duties during “an upheaval the likes of which the universe has never seen!” and Shiro just smiled sadly with a little shrug and said “I’m tired” which was true. 

Iverson cooled down (and was made Admiral in Shiro’s place, just like before), and Shiro found himself with nothing to do and nowhere to go.

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


“I’m thinking of buying a ship,” Shiro said. The nice thing about the Restart (as they had taken to calling it) was that the Paladins had all stayed in better touch. Their shared joy at having Allura back meant they were eager to reconnect with her and, by extension, each other. It meant for a lot of group chats.

“What kind of specs?” Hunk asked eagerly. Although he decided to continue with his culinary plans, this time around he had kept up his engineering interests as a kind of side hobby, thanks in part to how frequently he and Pidge talked about her family’s growing collection of robots.

“Not sure yet. Just something I can go exploring in.”

“The Blades have some extra ships you could borrow,” Keith offered. “Not forever--just until you figure out what you want to get. We’ve been able to recover some of our old supplies and we don’t have enough members yet to pilot them all, so you’d be welcome to take one.”

“Oh hey now--don’t let him take it for  _ free _ ,” Lance teased. “At least make him put in some volunteer hours.”

“Actually, that sounds really nice,” Shiro said. Volunteering with the Blades would mean both a distraction and some company. He hated to admit it, but he was drifting at the moment, and maybe getting a wee bit lonely. “If you have a spot for me, I’d love to help.”

“I think I can manage to find some room for you,” Keith said with a soft laugh.

“Great,” Shiro said. “I’ll start packing.”

Pidge’s giggle came through the speaker. “Told you he wouldn’t last a month without a hobby.”

“Our work is not a hobby, Pidge,” Keith said, somewhat sternly, but he laughed, too.

“They’re laughing because they just won a bet,” Allura informed him.

“It’s not fair!” Lance whined. “Last time he went six months!”

“Last time he was, um, distracted,” Hunk pointed out.

Last time he was a newlywed.

“Yup. That’s my cue to pack,” Shiro said. He was not about to get into that discussion. “You guys have a goodnight.”

Shiro booked a flight and packed and tried not to think about how the last time he packed, there was someone else with him.

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


“Stuff has changed this time around.”

It was Shiro’s second week volunteering with the Blades, and he and Keith were sitting in the shade of a ship, drinking water as they took a break.

“What do you mean?” Shiro asked.

Keith shrugged. “Last time we came to this planet, they needed more food. It’s kinda been a pattern. It’s not always food, but.…” He shrugged again. “Things are better.”

“Do you think that’s because the entities are gone, or because Allura is here?” Shiro said, not expecting a definite answer.

“No idea. Maybe a mix? People are definitely more hopeful, though, and I think that’s because she’s here.” He took another drink of water. “What about you? What made you decide to retire early? You could have transferred him to another department, if you wanted.”

“I did consider that. I know he liked--likes--research and development projects, too. I don’t know. I still would have run into him,” Shiro said. He fiddled with a sticker on his bottle that had started to peel. “Just kinda sucks to be in love with someone and watch them be in love with someone else.”

Keith took a long drink, finishing off his bottle. He stood up. “I know,” he said, and he walked away.

Shiro stayed in the shade and wondered if Keith was referring to him or just that he understood in general. He’d suspected before that the confession to the clone had been more than platonic, and he’d never once asked. He didn’t think he’d be happy about the clarification either way.

The Restart had changed a lot of things, but Shiro had always been a coward when it came to love, and not even a shift in the very fabric of time could change that.

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


The announcement of Allura and Lance’s engagement came as no real surprise--the two had been mooning over each other for months--but Shiro was mildly surprised Lance had already gotten his shit together to ask her.

“Oh I asked him,” Allura clarified with a laugh.

That made sense.

The two were bubbling with joy and Shiro sincerely congratulated them and wished them every happiness as did Keith. Once the call was over, though, Keith turned to him with a far more serious expression.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Shiro said, knowing his face said he was lying.

Keith said nothing for long enough that Shiro thought he was going to let it go, and then--

“Are you going to marry him again?”

Shiro laughed awkwardly. “Well, not to get ahead of myself, but it’s still a year before he’s single, providing that part of the timeline doesn’t change.”

Keith frowned. “And if it does change?”

“Then I’ll take the cowardly gentleman’s route and bow out.”

Keith was quiet for a moment. “I don’t think it’s cowardly to let the person you love be happy as they are.”

Shiro very consciously did not look at Keith. “Yeah, I guess not.” After another moment, he stood up. “Well, I’ve still got a year. No point in feeling sorry for myself now.”

“You do like to be ahead of schedule,” Keith said wryly, and Shiro laughed.

“Still, if you see me moping too hard, just hit me in the head or something,” Shiro said.

“I think you’ll be alright, Shirogane,” Keith said softly. 

Something warm and grateful started to blossom, and Shiro immediately doused it. Of all people, he shouldn’t ask  _ Keith  _ to look after his heart. He was a grown ass man who may or may not be in his 30s, and he could handle this himself.

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


Less than a week later, apropo of nothing, Keith verbally punched Shiro in the face.

“I want more from us.”

Shiro choked on air. “Wh-what? What ‘more’? More ‘what’?!”

“There’s a year, right? Until then, I want more.”

Shiro was absolutely flabbergasted. 

Keith judged his expression and then shrugged. “Now was the time to ask if I was ever going to, so….” He shrugged again. His cheeks were pink, though, belying his feigned casualness with the insanity of his request.

“So you thought, we’d just what--be fuck buddies until my  _ husband  _ is back on the market?” Shiro said, still shocked.

“Well I’m not going to ask you to  _ date  _ me,” Keith said, starting to sound annoyed. 

The picture was coming together: Keith was indeed in love with him and had just decided to grab for whatever crumbs he could get. Jesus. That took balls. Even in his haze of shock, Shiro felt admiration for the gutsy move.

“I’m not going to cheat on my husband, Keith,” Shiro managed to say through a strangled voice. 

Keith nodded. “That’s what I figured.”

If he said something else before he left, Shiro didn’t hear it. Holy fuck. Holy  _ fuck _ . This was a hell of a lot to unpack--not the least of which was the realization that Shiro considered anything he did to be cheating, but he did not put Curtis in the same category. Obviously, it wouldn’t be fair of him to expect anything of Curtis, but for himself--that “until death do us part” hadn’t happened, so he was married (kinda?). Only he wasn't, not really, or at least not to Curtis. There was no divorce, no death, no way out of a marriage that didn't exist and Shiro hadn't meant to leave in the first place.

He was married to a ghost; he was haunting his own future.

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


Shiro tried and failed to wrap his mind around Keith’s offer. He felt like he owed Keith some kind of further explanation or apology, since he was turning down more than just sex (despite Keith blatantly saying it would not be dating--Shiro had never actually given him a proper rejection before, so he  _ did  _ owe him one, right?).

Only...Keith was being normal, and Shiro didn’t want to disturb the silent request to just forget everything. A cowardly gentleman would respect that. 

(But maybe Shiro didn’t want to be that much of a coward anymore.)

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


“I’m not good enough for you.”

Apparently, that had not been the right way to explain himself. Fuck. Shiro had more he wanted to say, too. He didn’t deserve the purity of Keith’s love and loyalty, and he was just so fucked up right now that he would only hurt Keith, and the sex would be worse than meaningless, and he was so, so grateful that Keith somehow understood and respected Shiro’s ridiculous notion that he was still married. But, the fury in those violet eyes told him that he’d said more than he should have already.

They didn’t talk about it again.

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


Volunteering with the Blades was a stopgap in his life. Shiro knew that. Eventually, he would need to go back to Earth if he wanted to have his marriage again (he did). In the meantime, though, it was kind of perfect. Being close friends with Keith again was wonderful and exploring distant planets was literally everything he’d wanted since he was a kid. Still, he felt like he was drifting. He’d never not had a plan before. “Earth eventually” was not a plan. “Earth once he breaks up” was also not a plan. It was an idea, and a vague one. 

But, for a stopgap, it really was perfect. Shiro had missed the stars more than he’d wanted to admit. 

(And yet it hurt to look at them, and he did not know why.)

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


Allura and Lance’s wedding was gorgeous, and Shiro was pretty sure Coran enjoyed it more than they did. The whole thing was glittery and flowery and full of pageantry from both the bride and groom’s cultures, and it took  _ hours _ . Shiro didn’t exactly hate it, but that much L-O-V-E in his face was more than he could easily handle. Still, he was beyond happy for the couple. They had conquered death and time itself together. He might have shed a few tears.

Overall, he was significantly closer to sweet than bitter sweet--until the reception. Curtis was there, alone at the bar, and Shiro couldn’t resist going to sit next to him. It had been over a year since he’d last seen the man who was--or perhaps who had been--his husband, and he found himself nervous and excited. By the old timeline, Curtis was almost single. Now was a perfect time to start reinstating himself into his life. 

“Oh, hello Captain,” Curtis smiled. He raised his glass in a fond salute, and Shiro saw it.

The ring.

Curtis noticed the path of Shiro’s eyes and he blushed a little, pleased and shy. “Engaged,” he said. “No big announcement yet--didn’t want to steal the bride’s spotlight.”

“Congratulations,” Shiro whispered hoarsely with what he hoped was a smile. He slammed back his drink and left.

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


“Well, you’re proper drunk,” Keith said softly when he found him. Shiro was all but hidden in the farthest alcove he could find, tucked away on a veranda. “Come on. Let’s get you back to your room.”

Shiro honestly wasn't sure how much he’d had to drink, but it was enough that he had the excuse to lean his weight on Keith when the man slipped his arm over his shoulder. 

“He’s engaged,” Shiro mumbled as they made their way through a swimming maze of hallways.

“I know,” Keith said. 

Shiro didn’t contribute much by way of walking, but Keith got them to his room all the same, and soon he was taking off Shiro’s shoes and helping him into bed.

“Belt too,” Shiro said. “And pants.”

Wordlessly, Keith continued to undress him while Shiro pulled off his tie and failed to unbutton his shirt. A single tear dropped off the edge of his nose and he stared at the wet spot it made. 

“I didn’t even try.”

Keith’s hands paused, and then they replaced Shiro’s to work on his shirt.

“I know,” he said quietly.

Shiro’s shirt was freed and joined his pants and belt on the back of a chair and soon a glass of water was pressed into his hand.

“You good from here?”

Shiro nodded numbly. He was still staring at his lap, tired and uncaring, and so he felt rather than saw Keith start to leave.

“Do you still want more?”

Keith came back to the bed and Shiro reached for him, but Keith caught his hands. 

“This isn’t how we happen,” Keith said gently.

“Oh yeah? And how do we happen?”

“Sober.” 

Shiro snorted.

“I’ll stay, though, if you want me to.”

Shiro nodded and Keith guided him to lie down before undressing and getting in bed, lying on his side and curling around him. He was warm and firm next to him, and Shiro let out a trembling sigh. He hadn’t been held in a long time. Keith stroked his hand over Shiro’s stomach, and Shiro sighed again, relaxing into the comforting gesture. 

He missed this. He needed this. 

Without fully planning to, he traced the skin on Keith’s wrist, savoring the feeling of skin against skin, and then encircled the wrist with his fingers. It was a good wrist, strong and sure. There were tendons and muscles flexing the wrist, alive and warm and just the way a wrist should be--a strange thought to have, but then Shiro was feeling pretty damn strange. It was present and  _ real  _ and Shiro somehow wanted to cry about it. Instead, he pushed it lower.

Keith went stiff, and then carefully pulled his hand free before replacing it over Shiro’s chest.

“Just cuddling?” Shiro asked, drunk and lonely enough to be disappointed and more than a little hurt.

“Yup.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to cuddle you, and you said I could have ‘more’.”

Shiro gave a short, watery laugh. “You seriously only wanted to be cuddle buddies this whole time?”

“No, but I think you’re only capable of giving me permission for this much.”

Shiro wanted to say it wasn't  _ fair  _ that the man he vowed his life to had no idea that they’d ever been married and the man who was supposedly in love with him wouldn’t even give him a handjob when his heart was broken, but he was too tired to argue it properly.

God, he was so fucking tired. How long had he been living in limbo? Before Curtis, if he was honest. At first he’d just wanted to accomplish what he could before he grew too weak to do it, and then of course there had been the war. After that, though? No more plans, no more goals. He’d taken what was in front of him, made the best of it, and called himself grateful for the opportunity, because he’d lived, hadn’t he? He’d made it past the disease, past Zarkon and Haggar and everything else, and he never could figure out what to do next.

“Keith?” Shiro said in a hoarse whisper. “I don’t know how to live if I’m not dying.”

Keith’s breath was warm on the back of his neck as he pulled him more firmly against his chest. 

“It’s okay. You don’t have to know that yet,” Keith said, and somehow Shiro believed him.

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


In the morning, Shiro rolled over with a groan and found himself facing Keith who was giving him a fond and exasperated smile.

“Hello. Water and space tylenol are on your night stand. Room service is going to bring breakfast by in about 20 minutes, so there’s time for a quick shower if you want it.”

Shiro could have kissed him. Actually, fuck it. Keith had said he still wanted more, and he’d just performed the actions of a saint on Shiro’s behalf. Shiro leaned forward and kissed him.

Keith went absolutely still. 

“I’m sober,” Shiro announced as he pulled back. That had been the requirement right? Oh shit-- “Uh, sorry about the drunk morning breath. I better go take that shower.”

Keith stared at him, shocked, and reached up to touch his own lips. 

“Not okay?” Shiro grimaced.

“Just...not what I thought,” Keith said faintly. 

Shiro’s hungover brain tried to fit the pieces of everything together. Alcohol-and-morning-breath was not what he thought? Shiro kissing him was not what he thought? Kissing was not what he-------oh fuck.

“Was that your first kiss!?” Shiro demanded (and then winced at the volume of his own voice).

Keith glared at him. “Shut up and do it better.”

Shiro abruptly found himself on his back, an angry(?) Keith over him, biting and licking at his lips. What the actual fuck did this kid think kissing was?

Shiro wove his hand in Keith’s hair and tilted his head. “Like this,” he mumbled against him, and they started over. 

_ That  _ was better.

(Much better.)

Fuck, Shiro hadn’t been kissed in so long. Keith’s lips were warm and soft and learning quickly and Shiro fucking needed this. He needed a connection so bad. He licked against the seam of Keith’s lips until he got the idea and opened his mouth, and then  _ fuck  _ that was what he needed. His headache was threatening to split his skull open and he didn’t care. He did, however, care when a knock on the door summoned Keith away from him. Twenty minutes spent making out, huh? Time flies.

Shiro downed his space tylenol and water while Keith answered the door and brought back their breakfast. There was something of a shyness between them as they ate together, but it wasn't awkward. It was new, and maybe good, and Shiro was lonely enough not to look into it further.

“So,” Shiro asked as they finished up. “More?”

Keith put his fork down. “I’ll be your rebound, if that’s what you want, but I want to  _ know  _ that’s what I am.” He looked Shiro in the eyes, no anger or judgment or even hope in his face, just acceptance.

Shiro knew in that moment that Keith really would be okay with it if Shiro used him. That shouldn't make  _ Shiro  _ okay with it, though--Keith really did deserve so much better. 

(But Shiro was broken, and Keith was the only shelter he knew.)

“Yeah,” Shiro said quietly. “You’re a rebound.”

Keith’s smile was sweet and sad and so, so tender when he leaned forward and kissed away the lingering protest Shiro wanted to whisper.

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


What followed was a surprising but tame transition. Keith moved into Shiro’s room the very next day (something Shiro had not expected) and did so without fuss. He simply showed up in Shiro’s room via Kosmo with an armload of boxes and asked which dresser was his. An hour of rearranging later had Keith fully established.

This was more than ‘more’.

It was also less.

Keith greeted him with kisses and left him with pecks to the cheek. He held his hand and gave him lingering hugs. He never took things further. Shiro asked why once, and Keith actually laughed.

“Yeah, I’m not gonna make you feel  _ that _ guilty,” he said. 

A tightness eased in Shiro’s chest, and he felt like he could breathe fully for the first time in weeks.

Keith gave him a soft, fond look and said “C’me here” as he opened his arms, and Shiro let himself be pulled to his chest. Shiro buried his nose in Keith’s hair and allowed himself to be grounded in the safety of his friend.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said, but he didn’t let go.

Keith sighed and stroked his back. “I’ll be in love with you no matter what we do.”

That didn’t really help. “How does this not make it worse?” he argued.

Keith pulled back and looked up at him, bemused. “Why do you keep acting like you’re taking advantage of me? You’re the one who is emotionally vulnerable--it really doesn’t occur to you that maybe  _ I’m  _ the bad guy?”

Shiro didn’t know what to say to that. 

“If I wasn't here, you’d either be crying your heart out or fucking strangers in bars, and I can’t handle either of those scenarios. I’m weak over you, Shiro. This protects me, too.”

Shiro  _ really  _ didn’t know what to say to that.

Keith just hummed and kissed him on the cheek. “Indulge me, Shirogane. It might not make sense to you, but I’m happy.”

Shiro prayed every night it was true, and he didn’t let Keith go.

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


The paladins all checked in on him in the weeks that followed Allura and Lance’s wedding. None of them mentioned Curtis’ engagement, but the specter of it was there in their far-too-obvious concern. It made Shiro want to kick himself. These people honestly, deeply cared about him, and if he had really, truly wanted to, he could have gotten their permission to tell his fucking  _ husband  _ what had happened.

He’d lost Curtis because of no one and nothing but himself. The realization hit him like shards of ice to his veins.

Keith woke up as Shiro gasped around his pain. “Nightmare?” he asked, rolling to his side and opening his arms.

Shiro shook his head and burrowed into the embrace. Keith said nothing and stroked his hair, content as always to wait for him.

“Did I just not want him?” Shiro asked finally.

“Not wanting something and not knowing how to ask for something aren’t the same thing,” Keith said. “You definitely wanted him. You wouldn’t have married him if you didn’t.”

A ragged breath left Shiro’s mouth, and Keith kissed it away. Shiro opened for it, letting Keith decide what the moment called for because he didn’t know what would make this all hurt less. 

A whispering thought came into Shiro’s mind that night, and try as he might, he couldn’t push it away entirely: maybe he hadn’t asked again because he hadn’t wanted to be married anymore. Maybe he wasn't an idiotic martyr. Maybe he’d taken the coward’s way out because he hadn’t know how to ask for what he wanted in the first place.

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


Shiro’s parents got him an authentic Galaxy Star 9-Z12 model for his sixth birthday. He was so happy he cried. It was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen and he’d begged for it for months (a literal eternity for a child), and he vowed to keep it safe.

It broke the first time he played with it.

His parents got him a new one and assured him it wasn't a big deal--he just hadn’t known how careful to be. 

“It’s a delicate model, Shiro,” his mother explained. “It’s meant for kids a little older than you, but I know you’ll take good care of it.”

It stayed on the shelf, admired and untouched. 

Shiro never risked anything that beautiful again.

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


Shiro had always known about Keith’s love in a periphery sort of way. It was bright and intense and hard to look at directly. It chased away the shadows, lit his path, and was always behind him. It was warmth and guidance and kept him whole. It was also frightening, because there was no reason it should be there.

The idea of being fully, completely loved by Keith was fucking terrifying. Shiro hadn’t earned it. He didn’t deserve it. Keith loved with a simple, straight-forward passion that Shiro couldn’t comprehend, let alone  _ return _ . 

Maybe, just maybe, if he never truly accepted Keith’s heart, he’d never truly break it.

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


Shiro was happy, or at least he was pretty sure he was.

He was in the stars, exploring planets humans had never even heard of and he was helping people in a meaningful way at the same time. He spent every day with his best friend; he fell asleep beside him and woke up next to him.

And he had no idea if that was okay.

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


It was probably inevitable that they had sex. You can only wake up groggy and horny with mutual morning wood so many times before someone grabs something. In this case, Shiro grabbed himself and tried to discreetly take care of business. He was, however, not particularly quiet and maybe rutting backwards a bit because Keith’s dick was hard against his ass and that felt good, and then Keith gave a sleepy chuckle and rutted back. 

“Just wake me up next time; you’re not subtle,” Keith said, slipping an arm over him and lacing their hands together, easy as anything. 

The build up after that was exciting and wonderful and scared him shitless. Everytime they fumbled together he wondered if  _ this  _ was the time it actually happened. The line drawn taut between them didn’t break until Shiro finally asked for it.

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


“I’m not good enough for you.” 

The second time Shiro said it, he knew it was a mistake, but it slipped out into the darkness anyway. 

Keith huffed a laugh. “Yeah, you fucked me into the mattress because you’re  _ not  _ good enough at this.”

“Keith…,” Shiro said petulantly, but Keith rolled over abruptly and kissed him hard.

“One more word, and you lose pillowtalk privileges for a month,” he said, exasperated and stern.

Shiro shut up after that.

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


I don’t want to break up with him.

The thought came out of nowhere, and god but it hit him in the gut. They weren’t even properly together--where did Shiro get off wanting to hold onto it? But Keith was laughing at a dumb joke someone had told him while he carried boxes of supplies, and he just looked so  _ happy  _ and Shiro knew he wanted to look at him like that, always.

He didn’t deserve it, but he wanted it anyway, and he wasn't sure yet how to ask, because Keith deserved to have this be done right. 

He took longer with him that night, and didn’t say what he wanted to, but he felt he was one step closer than he had been the day before.

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


As with most things, it took a crisis. There were still pockets of resistance they ran into, and one such group separated Keith from the rest of them. Shiro saw red. He tore down everyone between him and Keith, but he almost needn’t have bothered. Keith had mopped up those around him like he was a god of war.

His only injury was a fractured wrist, which hurt quite a bit but was far from life-threatening. In the shuttle on the way back to the ship, Keith was given pain medications and a cot to lie down on. Shiro sat next to him, took his good hand and squeezed it.

“I love you,” he said, swallowing back tears. Keith was everything. He didn’t want to go a second more without him knowing it.

Keith looked up at him with something like a smirk, like Shiro had just caught on to a long-standing prank. “I know.”

“What?” Shiro asked, shocked by the response.

“You’re perfect, you know that? You do  _ everything  _ right, and it’s amazing. Even when you mess up you don’t let it stop you--you just try again harder until you get it right. You’re this shining pillar of strength to everyone and it’s incredible, and then you get to me. You let yourself be broken with me. You’re honest with me when you’re not even honest with  _ yourself _ . So, of course you love me.” Keith smiled and reached up to play with Shiro’s fringe. “It was my secret. You didn’t know it. You didn’t let yourself know it, because you could be perfect with him. You could have a perfect marriage and a perfect life, and if that’s what you wanted, that was fine, because you  _ couldn’t  _ be perfect with me. I’m messy, and you’re messy with me.”

“You make it sound romantic that I treated you like shit,” Shiro said, choking a little.

Keith actually giggled. “You’re so dumb. You’re the only person who doesn’t even  _ see  _ my faults, let alone care about them. You definitely don’t treat me like shit, and you only ever ‘used’ me with my permission.”

“What do you mean I don’t see your faults?” Shiro asked, fully ready to point out that Keith drooled a  _ lot  _ in his sleep, and maybe Shiro was just nice enough not to tell him.

“Shiro, I stole your car the  _ day we met _ . You don’t see my faults.” 

Shiro started to protest again, but Keith wiggled on the cot to make room and insisted he “shut up and hold me”, and Shiro had learned by now that he needed to shut up when Keith told him to.

Well. He’d  _ almost  _ learned.

“I still think I’ve treated you like shit,” he said as he arranged himself so Keith could lie on his chest.

Keith sighed contentedly. “Then treat me better.”

  
  


~*~*~

  
  


“I’m not good enough for you.”

The third time Shiro said it, it was with tear-filled eyes and an audience of all their friends. “But, I suppose that’s going to be your problem now, and we both better get used to it.”

There was a tittering of light laughter. 

“I love you, Keith. I loved you long before I knew it. Thank you for being patient with me. Thank you for giving me so many chances to get my shit together. I’m going to do my best for you, and for us.”

He had a lot more written out on speech cards, but it was getting hard to read them through happy tears, and finally he just gave up and kissed him. They hadn’t quite finished the vows yet, but they were married, and Shiro knew this one thing he’d never stop fighting for, and neither would Keith.

The end. <3

  
  
  
  
  


Bonus smut!

The first time Shiro gave Keith a blowjob, Shiro didn’t get one back. It was his own fault. Keith was easily the hottest person he’d ever slept with and he was so damn *responsive* and Shiro was a service top to his core, dammit, and he spilled on the sheets without being touched. Keith was grumpy about it, which was unexpected.

“I’ve wanted to get my mouth on your cock  _ years  _ before it was legal,” he said, and then he licked and sucked Shiro into painful sensitivity. Shiro begged for a break, and he got his own blowjob later that evening. He woke up most mornings to Keith’s mouth on him after that, and it wrecked him every time. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Can we just appreciate the utter brilliance of Me for a minute? This idea had 1) Shiro having a good reason not to pursue Citrus 2) Shiro having a good reason not to get over Citrus and 3) Keith getting to watch Shiro have his heart broken in a nice mirror of the way his own was.
> 
> Angst. Mother flippin’ *angst*. I feel good about myself.
> 
> Wanted to explain why Keith got so pissed over the “not good enough” line--it’s partially because Shiro gave him a cliche platitude, partially that he hates it when Shiro puts himself down, and partially frustration that Shiro thinks Keith can’t determine that for himself. That, and Keith already *knew* Shiro’s answer, so having him bring stuff up again with the cliche reeeeally pissed him off.
> 
> This whole idea was came from me trying to find a canon compliant way for 1) the gay couple to not get divorced 2) no more gay people to die and 3) SHEITH. Also: who else is sad that Hunk’s engineering kinda disappeared? Like… he was a badass nerd. I know people were upset he wasn't doing diplomacy stuff, but I was more bothered by the nerdy stuff going away. He’s really smart!! I’m happy he lived his passion with food ‘cause like, food is awesome and he genuinely connects with people that way, but the fat guy being the food guy is waaaay overdone. 
> 
> At some point, Shiro definitely asks if Keith tricked him into dating him, and Keith kinda just laughs at him and tells him he’s slow if he only figured it out just then.
> 
> I hope people didn’t hate Shiro in this fic for saying mean things to Keith!!!!! >_<
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @decidedlysarah to enjoy more of these fics. ^_^


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